Not a bad thing…or is it?

The following is a blog entry I started in mid-April…the draft’s been sitting in the queue for a while, so I thought I’d finish it before going on to the real juicy stuff you’ll soon see at the end:

So you know how in my last post I didn’t have any travel plans yet for 2014? Yeah, about a week after that I ended up booking a trip to Puerto Rico with my boyfriend and a couple of our friends. Then a month after that we set off for the commonwealth.

It was a grand ol’ time — went to the beach, rode ATVs, hiked through a rainforest, fought quite a few times Jersey Shore-style, got bit up ridiculously by who knows what kind of bugs, and made friends with a few iguanas.

Relaxing at the beach With my new iguana friend

I also completely blew through my money. After spending so much for my cousin’s wedding in January, I swore to be more frugal. Yeah, that went down the drain when I spent a week on vacation in March and also had to give my mom money for the Philippines when she had to go home a couple months ago for my grandfather’s funeral (he died late February).

The other big reason I’ve blown through my cash? Well in Puerto Rico we stayed at the Gran Meliá resort, where I had some of the best sleep of my life. It may be that my regular bed at home was just that shitty (it’s more than 20 years old, used to belong to my aunt, and was constantly giving me back pains), or the beds at the resort were just that great. But anyway, after returning home the crappy sleep I was having again seemed crappier than before. So I dragged my mom to the mall and went mattress shopping. There I made my first real big girl purchase (since my car in 2011 at least) — a full-sized “plush” mattress complete with a pillowtop!

It was a real impulse buy by my standards; I totally went into the store not knowing what the heck to look for or what my budget was. With discounts and everything the mattress came to around $850 that I am now paying off monthly. How has it been so far? Well the first couple of nights were magical. I slept like a baby and woke up not feeling sore at all! Moreover, I was able to actually jump out of bed like a normal human being instead of wallowing around with my face in the pillows hitting snooze after snooze. But alas, a month has now passed and I’m back to my lazy ways where it takes one-plus hour for me to get out of bed in the mornings. Perhaps I’m doomed that way.

Now for the real news. Why is it big important stuff? Well because as I previously mentioned, the grand vacation I took to Puerto Rico a couple months ago was with someone I called my boyfriend. And well, now, he’s not anymore. Yes that’s right ladies and gentleman — I got dumped. My heart broken. Whatever you call it. Not to get all emotional here, but since it’s been only one week since said dumping, my mind is still in a bit of a shamble. I guess you can say I really am growing up. Now I’ve got my first real grown-up breakup under my belt. Not sure it’s one of those things I’m proud of. But that is the numero uno cosa on my mind today.

Cheers. =\

Reminiscing the days when I was surrounded by people who read books

Today was a day I’d been looking forward to for a few weeks. Lupe Fiasco’s latest, Food & Liquor II: The Great American Rap Album (Pt. 1), finally dropped, and while on the way to buy it from Best Buy (why yes I still buy CDs!) I decided to also pick up Junot Díaz’s new collection of short stories, This Is How You Lose Her. At Barnes & Noble I asked the guy at the information desk if they still had copies of the book, since I wasn’t able to find it in the general fiction section. While he looked it up on his computer he asked me if I had read Díaz’s The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, to which I responded yes. And then we just had a short conversation about it as he led me to where the book I wanted was.

New goodies!

OK, OK, I know that was a pretty pathetic little story. But while discussing the merits of the story and Díaz’s writing style in Oscar Wao, I couldn’t help but scream inside, “Holy shit I miss this!” I mean, has it really been that long since I had an intellectual conversation with someone about a book? Has it really been that long since someone wanted to discuss a book that wasn’t Twilight or 50 Shades of Grey (I still haven’t read the latter, mind you)? Not gonna lie, the feeling made me miss college, the class/homework/boring part of college, a lot.

I feel compelled now to find a book club to join.

Time for a self-makeover

So I’ve never really been much of a cosmetics person, at least in comparison to other people. There have been occasions where I went crazy with the eyeshadow, but in general my face “regimen” consists of the following (in application order): Olay face wash, Olay face moisturizing lotion, Ulta or Rimmel eyeliner, relatively drugstore-cheap shadows, mascara, and lip gloss. Legit, that’s it. Occasionally I’ll put on concealer or some sort of powder if there’s something really glaring on my face…but that happens about once every few years. I didn’t realize how little I typically wear until a friend was like, “Wait, you don’t wear foundation? No bronzer? Etc etc etc.”

Well, last Friday I decided to give myself a little makeover and go on a little spree, and I spent roughly around $100 on stuff.

I upgraded my quality of eye makeup with some eyeliner from Sephora and the Naked eyeshadow palette from Urban Decay, which I had heard really good things about from friends. I also decided to try blush again and got “rose sorbet” also from Sephora. At Ulta, aside from the Naked palette, I grabbed some basic supplies like powder puffs. I also finally replaced my compact mirror and makeup bag, since I had been using the same ones since high school. In fact, the compact mirror I was using before was just an old Cover Girl powder compact from sophomore year (but with the powder all gone, of course).

One thing I had already been splurging on in the past year is OPI nail polish. Before, the idea of spending more than $2-3 on nail polish was just unthinkable for a girl like me. Then I discovered the amazingness that is OPI, and I’ve been stocking up on colors ever since. The latest one I got is “Gargantuan Green Grape” (pictured). I’m starting to understand now how it is some people have storage boxes full of these things.

Though I didn’t get much, I’m definitely liking the results from my new goodies. The makeup lasts longer and doesn’t smear as easily (or at all if I’m lucky). In fact, last night I ended up going out in the city, and went to bed with all my makeup still on due to laziness. When I woke up it was all still intact. Granted, I had only slept for like 3 hours, but I was still impressed. Pair it with all the clothes shopping I had done in August, and I’m definitely feeling more of a grown-up (and…dare I say it, womanly?!) now compared to a year ago, when I was still somewhat fresh out of college and settling into the working life. Even though I’m not a fan of covering my face up or putting on any other kind of makeup other than eye/lip, I am tempted now to go out and get some bronzer because I have a serious sunglasses tan going on from like the past 6 months. My forehead and cheeks and chin are nice and tan, while the area around my eyes is paler.

Speaking of clothes shopping, when I say I had done a lot in August, I mean a lot for me. I don’t know how much I spent per se (let’s remember here that I’m a tomboy, and while I like girly clothing more than your average tomboy that doesn’t mean I go crazy spending $$ for it) but when I calculated the total amount, it was enough to make me write a Post It note to myself saying “No shopping for the month of September!” But I’m pretty sure I’m about to break that tomorrow due to some sales that will be going on at my retail job. Sigh.

Hmmmm. This may perhaps have been the girliest post I’ve ever written.

So this is what it means to be a grown-up

When I was in high school, I realized I had OCD. Or at the very least, serious OCD tendencies. I had to have control over everything. Every object that would reside in my room, my websites, my hobbies, my entire life. But the more I think about it, that was likely because my life back then was very small. Sheltered. There wasn’t much to work with.

Fast forward to today. I am a college graduate, I’m working full-time and part-time, and I’m living at home with my family. My brothers are no longer little kids I can boss around and control. My room is exploding with 4 years of college momentos and travel souvenirs and endless rounds of shopping sprees (which I can’t help but continue to do because A) I have money now, and B) I need more work-appropriate outfits!). Funny thing is, ever since Costa Rica I’ve tried to become incredibly conservative when it comes to material things. I learned that I really don’t need a lot of things to live contentedly. But here, in America, you just can’t do that. That’s the American dream — to make money and be greedy and buy all the pointless shit you want. Anyway, I feel I have too many material things (and really, I don’t, compared to a lot of other people I know). And I don’t know what to do with them. I was trying to clean out my closet and I just stared at the piles of T-shirts and hoodies that sit gathering dust now that I wear business casual basically day in and day out. They’re not being used. And I just feel incredibly guilty that they are taking up space in my room. And it’s bothering me. I don’t know how to get this feeling out of my system because it’s seriously depressing my mood.

Not only that, it appears I don’t have any time to do any real life cleaning like I’ve been meaning to do for the past year. Because I just have too much junk in my room and no real idea of what to do with them. I don’t know if I’m expressing myself correctly. All I know is that there’s so much I want to clean and organize in my life and I don’t know where to bloody start.

Siiiiighhhhhhh

Is it freaking sad that I’m 22 years old and yet I feel like my best years are now behind me? That my life is basically over, and all I have to look forward to now is endless years of work, loan repayments, bills and other shitty adult matters? When will I ever be able to dance in the streets of small Central American villages again? When will I get to sit on rotted tree logs on the beach at one in the morning again? When can I ever have late night dance parties and vodka drinks with my roommates?

It’s 11:53 right now. Not even midnight, but it’s way past my bedtime already. I’ve been trying to squeeze in time this week to organize my accounts and bills and shit. For goodness sake, I have trouble finding time to SHOWER, let alone do the stuff grown-ups are supposed to do.

But in other news, I BOUGHT A CAR. My first car. It’s a black 2012 Honda Civic coupe, so beautiful, I’m in love with it. I’ve never been one to ever care about shiny cars, but damn I’m starting to understand the appeal. Picking out a car was like how I imagined picking out a wand would be. Lots of decision-making and careful consideration.

And so, on a positive note…at least I get to drive my brand-spanking new car to work tomorrow bright and early!