Not a bad thing…or is it?

The following is a blog entry I started in mid-April…the draft’s been sitting in the queue for a while, so I thought I’d finish it before going on to the real juicy stuff you’ll soon see at the end:

So you know how in my last post I didn’t have any travel plans yet for 2014? Yeah, about a week after that I ended up booking a trip to Puerto Rico with my boyfriend and a couple of our friends. Then a month after that we set off for the commonwealth.

It was a grand ol’ time — went to the beach, rode ATVs, hiked through a rainforest, fought quite a few times Jersey Shore-style, got bit up ridiculously by who knows what kind of bugs, and made friends with a few iguanas.

Relaxing at the beach With my new iguana friend

I also completely blew through my money. After spending so much for my cousin’s wedding in January, I swore to be more frugal. Yeah, that went down the drain when I spent a week on vacation in March and also had to give my mom money for the Philippines when she had to go home a couple months ago for my grandfather’s funeral (he died late February).

The other big reason I’ve blown through my cash? Well in Puerto Rico we stayed at the Gran Meliá resort, where I had some of the best sleep of my life. It may be that my regular bed at home was just that shitty (it’s more than 20 years old, used to belong to my aunt, and was constantly giving me back pains), or the beds at the resort were just that great. But anyway, after returning home the crappy sleep I was having again seemed crappier than before. So I dragged my mom to the mall and went mattress shopping. There I made my first real big girl purchase (since my car in 2011 at least) — a full-sized “plush” mattress complete with a pillowtop!

It was a real impulse buy by my standards; I totally went into the store not knowing what the heck to look for or what my budget was. With discounts and everything the mattress came to around $850 that I am now paying off monthly. How has it been so far? Well the first couple of nights were magical. I slept like a baby and woke up not feeling sore at all! Moreover, I was able to actually jump out of bed like a normal human being instead of wallowing around with my face in the pillows hitting snooze after snooze. But alas, a month has now passed and I’m back to my lazy ways where it takes one-plus hour for me to get out of bed in the mornings. Perhaps I’m doomed that way.

Now for the real news. Why is it big important stuff? Well because as I previously mentioned, the grand vacation I took to Puerto Rico a couple months ago was with someone I called my boyfriend. And well, now, he’s not anymore. Yes that’s right ladies and gentleman — I got dumped. My heart broken. Whatever you call it. Not to get all emotional here, but since it’s been only one week since said dumping, my mind is still in a bit of a shamble. I guess you can say I really am growing up. Now I’ve got my first real grown-up breakup under my belt. Not sure it’s one of those things I’m proud of. But that is the numero uno cosa on my mind today.

Cheers. =\

I really should not be awake right now

I know that lately, I have been lamenting shamefully over my lack of a passionate love life. But ever since I saw The Ugly Truth last Friday, and after certain events from the day before, my attitude has changed. To put it succinctly: I just don’t give a fuck anymore. If fate has bestowed upon me this role of a crazy spinster and lunatic, so be it. I can play this game too.

Anyway, at the moment I am wondering why on earth I am awake at 3 in the morning when I so desperately crave sleep. I haven’t even eaten dinner yet nor did I clean up my room like I had planned to. My stomach is aching with hunger. I’m debating on whether to just storm into the kitchen to fetch some rice and adobo, or to crash into my bed because I can feel my eyes drooping steadily as I type this all out.

Some sitely updates I feel deserve mentioning:

  • Because people like to keep harking on and on about the importance of “content,” I’ve decided to relocate all non-personal content from Stargazer. Basically, all the articles I had planned for that website will be featured here on my main domain. I’m really only doing this to refocus Stargazer as a more strictly personal site. Honestly, I don’t believe personal weblogs should be “required” to have some sort of substandard section of pointless visitor goodies or quickly written rants. But I guess I’m going against that now. Oh well. Shoot me.
  • So look for more things to pop up on bumplum over the next few weeks.
  • I’ve begun work on my new fanlisting for Jay Sean. Nothing substantial or exciting, really. But I’ve started, I’m excited, so yay!

There’s more that I’ve been wanting to blog about, but I seriously think that my body is physically shutting down at the moment because my hearing has dimmed and my eyes are halfway closed, though my stomach continues to remind me that I haven’t eaten an actual meal since that McDonald’s I had on my break today; and that was over 13 hours ago. Eff.

Why is love so hard to find

I used to think that I wasn’t very hopelessly romantic. I don’t like cheesy pick up lines, I don’t get turned on by the idea of being serenaded by some sensitive John Mayer-wannabe. I’m so stubborn about being an independent woman, there’s no point in holding doors for me because I would just open my own. I like doing things for myself. I like that I can live on my own without having to deal with a significant other.

But I think I’m wrong.

I believe a large part of why I thought I was just so not into romance was because nobody’s ever effing tried. I was never the girl in high school who got flowers, cards, or any special gifts on a regular basis. In my entire life, I was only asked to a high school dance once. And I turned him down because I really didn’t like him in that way. I went to my senior prom alone because nobody asked me. I’ve never been in a serious relationship, and I don’t think I even remember the last time I kissed a guy sober.

It’s not like I’m completely clueless when it comes to the opposite sex. I know plenty that have expressed interest in me, and I can flirt up a storm when I want to. But what seems to stand out the most is that nobody has ever shown any indication that they could actually care about me in any deeper way. And it kind of makes me feel pathetic.

I’m sick of being treated as a one night stand. I want something real. Is that so hard to ask?