London calling

Wow. No idea how it is I let more than a month slip by like that. Makes me feel like November was quite exciting when in fact, it was…well, maybe it was.

Thinking about it, I was stressed out a lot in October. So I drank a lot to counter it. Not a good thing, I know, but it was always with friends at least, and during social situations. Although the time I threw up in my kitchen after a girls’ night in my basement did make me really reconsider my consumption habits. But any rate, after Halloween I was determined to A.) Stop drinking so much, and B.) Stop wasting gas and money driving to the city all the time. And it worked…for about 3.5 weeks. During that time I finally read This Is How You Lose Her and re-watched all my favorite Colin Firth movies (mainly Bridget Jones and The King’s Speech—oh, and Girl With A Pearl Earring!). I also started on NW by Zadie Smith and did some housecleaning.

Perhaps the biggest news I have to share from November is that I’m finally, actually, really going to London! (Yes, that sentence warranted some serious bolding and italicizing.) The decision was, mainly, spontaneous. I was surfing travel websites as usual and came across some decent $824 round-trip fares in March. Thought, why the heck not? So I booked. Four nights in the city I have dreamt about going to (with a passion) since high school. At the moment I’m going completely alone, since I cannot seem to find friends who have the money and desire to go with me. They either don’t have the money and want to go, or do have the money but don’t want to go. What a dilemma. But I don’t mind going alone. I’m seeing this trip as a complete and total solo adventure.

I also haven’t told my parents about this trip yet. Pretty sure my father would have a heart attack if I told him I was going to a foreign city all by myself for a few days—for fun. It was different when I flew into Manchester for work. This time…I have no plan. Hence, I kind of do want to find a traveling companion. If only to alleviate the pain of the lectures I’m sure to get once I share the news with my parents.

Only…four more months! Aahhhhhhh.

The Dark Knight Rises — and falls

For about eight glorious hours last Friday I was bathed in the euphoria that is supposed to be The Dark Knight Rises movie experience. From the moment the first trailer began at midnight until about halfway through my commute to work this morning, I was geeking out over how awesome the movie was. Great overall acting, amazing cinematography, thrilling music…it was all you could ever want in a summer movie blockbuster. I was daydreaming endlessly of Christian Bale and Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

It was while driving to work that morning when I heard that a gunman had attacked a movie theater in Colorado during a midnight showing there. You all know (or should know) what happened. I looked it up online as soon as I got to my desk, and the news was everywhere. I became numb.

We’ve come to a point in society where shootings like this, while undoubtedly horrific, just continue to pile messily on top of one another. When I was in college I would sometimes silently think to myself what I would do if a gunman ever came into a class. Indeed, there was one time where a man appeared on stage while my professor was lecturing. The professor stared at him questionably as he sauntered across, and you could practically feel the collective gasp of the auditorium as he disappeared as quickly as he came. Another time there were people dressed in costumes (animal costumes, I think) yelling nonsense as they ran across the stage. Silly school pranks are one thing, but don’t mess around lecture halls like that, not when there are at least a hundred students in the crowd. You just don’t.

This shooting struck me particularly because I worked at a movie theater for 3 years. In fact, I worked for the same cinema chain that this guy had targeted in Colorado. Maybe I would feel less…stunned if this had happened at an AMC, not a Cinemark (does that sound insensitive to say?). I keep wondering what if the same thing had happened at my theater, at a different time on a different day. Imagine being on the clock during a time like that! I’m also horrified at the fact that while I was squealing in happiness from watching TDKR, there were people in another time zone getting shot up and killed for trying to do the exact same thing. That’s what strikes us all deeply, I think. TDKR was supposed to be a big, innocent movie event, the phenomenon of the summer. Thousands of people were gathering at movie theaters across the country at midnight to watch this summer movie, and now there are people who won’t enjoy it the same way the rest of us did. And in fact, there are 12 who will never get to see it at all.

Finding that voice

Well, first things first I guess…today’s Christmas. I’m under the impression that it’s like a really big deal, but really all I did today was open my 2 presents, watch TV and eat. Not really that much different from any other day in the year.

I finally got around to watching The King’s Speech. I hadn’t seen it since theaters, and it’s definitely still very very good. I will always love Colin Firth, so I may be biased. But it really is definitely very good. The cinematography, which I appreciated more this time around, is brilliant. As far as period dramas go, this one tops all the recent ones, at least. That may have been the lamest movie review ever, my apologies.

I still have that very overwhelming feeling lurking in the back of my mind. Today I was so tired for some reason. Really, I shouldn’t have been. I had no work yesterday nor today. I slept a full 9 hours. But today I couldn’t bring myself to do anything. I couldn’t even muster up the energy to put my laundry away. My arms just don’t want to bloody move. I’m practically forcing myself to not go to bed at this very moment. There’s so much I could have done today and I’m so upset at myself for not doing a single thing except be an absolute couch potato.

I need to fix this blog. I need to read other blogs again. I must find my voice.

I’m so busy now, bullets will have to do

My life feels like a mess. Not a bad mess, but an actual, really disorganized mess. My room can’t stay neat for a day, I’ve got shit lying around and shit missing and as much as my OCD self wants to get that situation fixed, my new workaholic self keeps reminding me that I just don’t have the bloody time. And that’s because I spent the entire weekend being wild and social. My bank account took a hit, considering I went on quite the shopping spree Saturday and boozed it up several times with friends. I even managed to squeeze in time today for a nap and a movie, which the new me would never have ever done but the old me was just begging for some lazy time.

But alas, now I have to figure out my bills, get stuff situated, and all that good stuff.

  • The movie I mentioned previously was (500) Days of Summer. I borrowed it from the library and saw it for the very first time. I laughed, I cried, I experienced bouts of epiphany-like states. It was a seriously damn good movie. I didn’t know who I was in love with more, Joseph Gordon-Levitt or Zooey Deschanel. More importantly, I didn’t know who I related to more, Tom or Summer. The heartbreak that Tom went through was more or less similar to the heartbreak I experienced with Boy O. But the attitude Summer had is exactly the attitude about love I have right now. Except unlike Summer, who didn’t really have any expectations of love and had previous relationships that didn’t come close, I’m of the mindset that I’ve already experienced the horrible things called love and heartache and I just never want to have to deal with them again. Hmmmm…
  • I went to Medieval Times for perhaps the 4th time in the past 5 years. It was my 5th time overall. It was also my first time there as a legal drinking adult, which was interesting. The sad part, though, was that the knights didn’t come out after the show because there was another show to prepare for after, so I never got to take pictures with them. I also didn’t get to take pictures with the cute knight I’d seen twice before.
  • Friday night I went out to the bars in Wicker Park in Chicago. It was my first time at the bars in that area, and I must say, it was a blast. It’s totally more my scene than Lincoln Park (too college-y, which I know I should theoretically love but at the same time there’s also too many fratty white people for my taste) or downtown Naperville (where I’d been last night, way too many snobby rich suburban folk). And it’s definitely a neighborhood I would consider living in someday.
  • I have much more to say but my bedtime approaches and I need to get a good start to the week.

When movies start reflecting real life

“I’m going to do what I want to do. I’m going to be who I really am. I’m going to figure out what that is.”

I’m doing something right now that’s very radical for me. I’m making a plan for myself. I mean, I’m always doing to-do lists like they’re my job, but instead of figuring out what toiletries I need to buy on my next trip to the store, I’m figuring out the next few years of my life for the very first time, like ever.

I can’t go back to my old seasonal job at the movie theater. It’s just too awkward now with the GM. I went there today to watch the third Transformers, and saw that she was behind the popper for a bit. So I went over to say hi, and while we made small talk, at the end of the conversation she was all, “So what do you want?” And after all the weirdness I had to go through last year (asking to work only sparingly over the summer; not being able to work over winter break due to the fact they thought I’d be in Costa Rica for a whole year, not semester; and not calling in May to ask for my job back like I promised because of my internship and vacation), I just knew she thought I was coming to ask if I could work again. Which, I mean, I wasn’t. But admittedly I was testing the waters there…and now I know that that chapter of my life is officially over. What a weird ending. Sad, too, because there are a lot more people I know still working there than I thought.

So now I am in full job hunting mode. I even finally bought a suit jacket/blazer. I know they say summers aren’t necessarily the greatest hiring periods, but I’m applying to anything that remotely sounds interesting and is within commuting distance for me. And that includes other mall jobs that could sustain me for a bit while I look for my first grown up job. But alas, Carson Pirie Scott’s already emailed me back saying they weren’t going to “pursue my profile further.” Being a grown up is tough.

Speaking of, I noticed today that the last two movies I watched have had eerie resemblances to my current life. Yesterday I finally saw The Hangover Part II, and I felt like I was being transported back to my two week stay in the Philippines: the annoyingly long journey, Delta Airlines, and the riding around in public jeep transports. In fact, what with all the Asian people and beautiful beach resorts, it was almost like my vacation in the Philippines…sans the whole drugs and partying and car chases. And then today! I took my little brother to see the third Transformers, and there he was, the lead human character, Sam Witwicky, a recent college graduate desperate to find a real career job! It like totally inspired me to kick my butt into overdrive and be serious about my future. The kicker was when everything shifted to the battle scenes in Chicago. I’ve seen a lot of disaster movies, and Chicago is almost never featured. Usually you only see cities like New York or L.A. or D.C. get trampled on and blown up and whatnot. But when the Decepticons started shooting up the place and people were running everywhere and they’re blowing up very familiar buildings…I almost started crying! And when they had that massive car chase down I-88, it was so surreal. Made me really wish I could have gone into the city to watch them film last summer, like everyone else I know seemed to have done.