(Note: This letter was written in a moment of pure catharsis yesterday that my friend encouraged me to write in order to finally obtain closure over this one stupid boy that I’m sure I’ve mentioned countless times on this blog. I think it worked. Maybe one of you will take more away from it that I can. Oh, and I’m too lazy to change names, locations, etc., so there is a frighteningly realistic chance that the one to whom this letter is addressed may one day come across it.)
So. Today is Valentine’s Day.
I remember bumping into you in the main stairwell at BHS on Valentine’s Day. That was six years ago. At the time, things had cooled off between us since that night at the park and I realized there was no way in hell my dad would let me date you, and we hadn’t really talked in a while. But we greeted each other. I remember wishing we were Valentines that day.
I remember bumping into you at a frat party Valentine’s Day weekend during our freshman year at U of I. That was five years ago. Things got steamy on that couch. Then somehow you got into a fight with one of my friends, and her cousin threatened to beat the shit out of you. I called you at 3 in the morning to see if you were OK and you said it wasn’t a big deal. But I was concerned. I cared. Thinking about it now, I should’ve stopped myself then. Stopped that caring before it ever started.
Ever since Unofficial weekend I feel as if my life has been going a zillion mph. I’m being reckless, I’m out every weekend, I’m drinking and partying. I’m hanging out with friends. It’s like for the first time since graduating college…I’m really feeling that “young, wild and free” vibe. Never have I been more aware of this post-school awesomeness until this past weekend, which I spent going buckwild in Miami while friends were posting “Wahh, finals” or “Holy shit, graduation” statuses on Facebook. Everything feels good: I’ve got a job, I’ve got (not a lot) of money, great friends and a drama-free family.
Funny how when life is good and I don’t have much to complain about, I turn to this blog less. I don’t like that! I must make more of an effort…my ambitious project for the upcoming summer will be to update and revamp. Now that I’m a working gal, I also gotta find some way of keeping myself more anonymous.
OK, this ambitious venture of mine will start…after I get some sleep!
Funny how just one simple fact of life can change the course of how one feels about everything else entirely. Last Monday the company I was interning for promoted me to a full-time associate editor. I was hired. I have a real job. I’m staying! I no longer have to worry about what I will be doing with myself weeks from now, or having to send out resumes and cover letters again, or how the heck I was going to continue paying for my car. I finally have some stability going on for me. Moreover I can start cutting down on hours at my retail gig, which I believe I’m going to keep for now. So instead of working nearly 60 hours a week on meager wages, I’ll be working 50 hours a week on better wages. Heh?
I ended up having a whirlwind of a magical week last week after my promotion. For Valentine’s Day my girl friends and I went out on the town in Chicago, doing the wine, dine and dance. It ended up being a fantastic, fun night and totally worth the lack of sleep I suffered at work the next day. Last Thursday I went out in the city again to have dinner at the Costa Rican restaurant, Irazu, which I think I am now officially obsessed with. As a side note, I’m returning to Costa Rica in less than a month!!! (More about that later.) Then Friday I went to the city again (I really should just move there!) for the Chicago Auto Show, which I hadn’t been to in probably about 10 years. Best part of all…look who I ran into!!
Yeah, that’s right, I totally locked eyes with the Chicago Bulls’ very own Joakim Noah. The line to meet him was ridiculously long, so my friends and I fought our way to get to the crowd control poles. We may not have had the chance to get anything signed by him, but we were right there front and center, and he definitely saw—noticed—us. It was awesome.
Oh, and the cars were sexy too. Disregard all my previous emo posts. Life is awesome.
By all rights, my mood shouldn’t feel this improved right now. The Bulls are playing like shit against Philly right now, I’m having medical issues I really freaking wish I weren’t having, a rift in a friendship doesn’t feel much improved, I’m running on no sleep, and my future is feeling so extremely uncertain.
But the weather in the past few days has been relatively glorious for late January/early February. 50-degree weather, sunshine, the smell of spring. And I feel less freaked out than before.
Or it might have been the hormones and PMS that took over my last post…maybe…