Life has much improved

Funny how just one simple fact of life can change the course of how one feels about everything else entirely. Last Monday the company I was interning for promoted me to a full-time associate editor. I was hired. I have a real job. I’m staying! I no longer have to worry about what I will be doing with myself weeks from now, or having to send out resumes and cover letters again, or how the heck I was going to continue paying for my car. I finally have some stability going on for me. Moreover I can start cutting down on hours at my retail gig, which I believe I’m going to keep for now. So instead of working nearly 60 hours a week on meager wages, I’ll be working 50 hours a week on better wages. Heh?

I ended up having a whirlwind of a magical week last week after my promotion. For Valentine’s Day my girl friends and I went out on the town in Chicago, doing the wine, dine and dance. It ended up being a fantastic, fun night and totally worth the lack of sleep I suffered at work the next day. Last Thursday I went out in the city again to have dinner at the Costa Rican restaurant, Irazu, which I think I am now officially obsessed with. As a side note, I’m returning to Costa Rica in less than a month!!! (More about that later.) Then Friday I went to the city again (I really should just move there!) for the Chicago Auto Show, which I hadn’t been to in probably about 10 years. Best part of all…look who I ran into!!

Yeah, that’s right, I totally locked eyes with the Chicago Bulls’ very own Joakim Noah. The line to meet him was ridiculously long, so my friends and I fought our way to get to the crowd control poles. We may not have had the chance to get anything signed by him, but we were right there front and center, and he definitely saw—noticed—us. It was awesome.

Oh, and the cars were sexy too. Disregard all my previous emo posts. Life is awesome.

Never ever ever ever again

Last night, I made a total fool of myself. I’m not going to go into details, but the events after 2am were embarrassing enough. And so, for now, I’m going to stop with a certain habit. I’m not a dedicated smoker (of anything) by any means, as I’ve only ever done it occasionally, but today when I woke up I imagined some pretty gross things. So absolutely no more of that for awhile. I’ve got more important things to do with my time.

As a result of last night’s dumb ending, I didn’t go to bed until 5am. I’ve been operating this entire day on practically no sleep, as well as a really really bad hangover. Which means, my grand plans of doing homework and studying all day today had sadly gone to waste. I was so productive Saturday, I wrote up half my take-home midterm for history and I even started writing for Demand Studios again, since I’m strapped for cash. Today I did manage to read for class, and start on some assignments.

I wish I could find things to blog about besides my never-ending pile of schoolwork and other kinds of work. I will say this, before today’s dinner with the roommates at Red Lobster, I still had yet to spend a single $ on outside food. And actually, last night I didn’t spend anything at all on alcohol at the bars. And, and! I’ve started cutting up coupons and saving them, and in my first coupon-filled trip to County Market, I spent about $8 on bread, macaroni and cheese, salad dressing, Totino’s pizzas, and other minor items. $8! I couldn’t believe it.

Getting quite proud of myself. Last night I was THISCLOSE to getting Chipotle. My self-restraint is finally coming through for me!

Things I miss

First of all, I miss being able to link directly to my pictures from Facebook. I would use my Flickr account, but apparently I’ve used up my 200 image quota, and I don’t quite have the funds to upgrade. So…le sigh.

Second, and third, and fourth, etc.:


Frolicking on the beach! (As shown here while on spring break!)


Even more especially, a Costa Rican beach 🙁


My host madre

I was going to add more pictures but all this uploading is getting rather tedious. So I suppose I’ll leave it at that. In case you couldn’t tell, I really really freaking miss Costa Rica: the people, my host family, the food, the cities, mountains, animals, everything.

In other news, I’ve been looking for ways to rearrange my schedule to make life less hellish for me, and in doing so I’ve realized that I’m going to miss the Chicago Bulls’ regular season game against the Boston Celtics tomorrow night. WTH was I thinking?!

Graduation is now merely weeks away. My only goals for now are to finish the semester strong, stop my frivolous spending, and organize organize organize. At the moment I have less than $100 in my bank account and probably around $20 in cash in my wallet. I’ve resorted to using my credit card to pay for bills and groceries, but inside it’s killing me because I despise my credit card company and I’ve been trying hard not to use it so that I eventually can pay the debt off faster, close the account for good, and move on somewhere else. Alas, I don’t know how I’m going to manage one month left of school with less than $100 in the bank. I do get paid my measly salary pay on Friday for the newspaper, but it most likely will not help. I still have to do my taxes, so hopefully I’ll get something back from that. But otherwise…I feel rather destitute right now.

I’ve actually embarked on a diet from all fast foods and eateries. I last had McDonald’s while at home for spring break, and I’m proud to say that since then I haven’t spent any money on non-grocery foods. I’m also trying this thing where I go out with no intention of buying alcohol at bars. This isn’t a measure to curb my drinking, but to curb my spending on drinking, which alarmed me when I dropped $33 at a Chicago lounge on my last night of spring break (OK, I know $33 is NOTHING for a city establishment but still, I needn’t have drank so much that night!). Over the last weekend I went out twice, spending money only on covers. It worked (my no-spending-for-alcohol-at-bars mission), and yet somehow I still managed to get incredibly intoxicated. That’s what I get for going out with large groups of friends whose mission it is is to get crunk, I guess.

Breathe, 1:26 AM

*sighs heavily*

I am a beacon of peace and serenity. Stress cannot enter me. I go with the flow. Pura vida, pura vida.

I literally had to chant all that to myself tonight at work. Tonight was a long night — late stories (like that UConn/Butler game, what a travesty!), a supplement guide to post online. Normally I aim to be done at 11:30, but unfortunately tonight I was out at 1 in the morning. When I realized it was going to be a late night, I started hyperventilating because it doesn’t help that I have to work at my internship tomorrow morning at 10, as well as do the usual schoolwork. But I breathed and thought peaceful thoughts and remembered that things won’t be so bad. My only major assignment due for this week is a paper rewrite due Thursday, so I have all day tomorrow to do it.

I’m also really really hungry right now. I’m eating leftover Kraft mac and cheese that I made earlier today for lunch…was hoping to save it for a snack tomorrow but alas my hungry stomach must be fed. Am also really tempted to whip up a quick small salad right now too. I don’t understand my appetite sometimes.

However, I am starting to understand now why the weekends are so beloved (for adults). With all this stress during the week, I am so ready now to unwind and drink up a storm this weekend!

Dilemmas

My appetite seems to have increased tenfold since my return to campus. I don’t know what it is, but I just keep eating and eating. I’ve eaten practically everything there is on Green Street (it’s rather hard to avoid when you have to walk down a street full of shops and restaurants just to get to class!) and going to County Market whenever I run out of grocery items. Even today, I went out for dinner and had a nice juicy burger and fries…and yet some part of me wants to whip up a quick snack right now because I’m not really satisfied with the day’s meals. But I am excited to start incorporating some foods into my meals that I never really had before, i.e. green beans, spinach, sour cream. I blame my host mom for her insanely awesome cooking. Gosh do I miss it!

My boy(s?) situation appears to have gotten way more complicated in the past two weeks than I could ever imagine. There is F, the boy I’ve recently met. We’ve been talking and hanging out quite a bit. In short, everything is great. Super. There are a ridiculous amount of things we have in common, things I can relate to him about. And he’s sweet! Usually I get turned off easily by guys who get emotionally affectionate like that too quickly, but with him I don’t mind! In fact, like I told my roommate today, I’m growing quite fond of F. To the point where I don’t want to get rid of him just yet. Last night he took me out to dinner for Valentine’s Day, the first time in my life where I have ever done such a Valentine-y thing. It was a good date. Very good.

But then…there’s O (these letters were chosen according to a system I just quickly devised, heh). After months of nothing, weeks of silence, days of rescheduling and texting, we finally saw each other today for the first time since August. We met up for dinner and had some alone time before being joined by his roommate (and, unknowingly, his girlfriend, which made everything into an unexpected double date). And, well, nothing was too awkward, I guess you could say (of course, O knows nothing of my pains, blargh). We chatted, caught up on life, the usual. It was just like every other time whenever we’d reunite after some period of not-really-being-friends. (O still looks so damn good, I’ll tell you that. I was having flashbacks and memories and all that…sigh. But anywho.) I was trying very hard not to imply anything, not to make it seem as if right off the bat I would jump back into his arms. Even though…I really wanted to. I’d forgotten how much I loved the smell of him, the warmth of his hug, that silly look on his face whenever he’d smile at me. I’d forgotten that effect he has on me.

And therein now lies the dilemma. Is O going to keep up his end of the bargain in maintaining this friendship? Do I go with F, who has the ability to understand me so much more completely and is more available and actually seems to want me more? Or do I go with O, who I fear I may still be in love with even though he hardly talks to me anymore and it’s hard just to see him even though we are now back in the same friggin’ country? Do I go with someone who, on paper, is my soulmate, or do I go with the person whom my roommate has dubbed the love of my life?

Or do I just take the easy route, say “Fuck ’em all” and instead concentrate on the massive amount of schoolwork I have to do for the next week?