Happy Unofficial St. Patrick’s Day to you all in the Midwest who have decided to come down and converge upon my school this very sunshiny morning. Best holiday ever. One of the only times in life where it is perfectly acceptable to wake up at 7 in the morning and start chugging beer.
Time to get [...]

At the clubs, black dudes dance like they’re having rough sex. White guys are just awkward. I don’t go near Asians. Latinos are alright.
I need to remember to wear less clothing at Cly’s. Now I realize why so many girls dress up like total skanks even in the dead of winter — because inside the [...]

So I had a mishap the other night. A rather stupid, drunken mishap. My roommates and I were in the midst of finishing off a fifth of vodka, and I was making my way back up the stairs to the kitchen. Needless to say, the next thing I know I’ve fallen back onto the landing [...]

I think it’s safe to say that this has been one of the craziest semesters I have ever had here at the University of Illinois.
Professors in the beginning of the year actually had provisions for H1N1 flu absences in their syllabi. We have already had several waves of soybean aphids and Asian beetles invading campus [...]

So I actually bitched people out at work today. It was amazing.
One of my part-time jobs here at school is working the concessions stands at the home football games. Basically, we sell overpriced burgers and hot dogs to rich people who paid $130+ for their seats. One of the new items this season is chicken [...]