I’m getting old

I know, I know, being nearly 22 years old does not exactly constitute one as feeling old yet, but I have several reasons for feeling as such. First of all, it’s a Tuesday night. I was invited to go out for drinks with some friends, but feeling incredibly lazy I decided to stay in. Even though I have absolutely nothing to do tomorrow (or for the rest of my life, as a matter of fact). I used to be able to go out 7 days a week! Now I can barely get my ass out on a Tuesday night — a Tuesday night, MY night of the week!! In Costa Rica we had a bar we’d go to every Tuesday; at school Tuesday nights were the best week nights to go out; even here at home I’m often getting texts to go to this bar or that. But alas, tonight I just did not feel like it. Something must be wrong with me.

Another reason for feeling old: my brother and I went to Meijer and there were displays of “Back-to-School” items everywhere. School supplies for the kiddies, dorm essentials for the freshmen. It was the latter that nearly set me off and made me reminisce of my own first college move-in nearly four years ago. It also made me realize how much I love decorating and furnishing my space, because I kept scrounging for items to use in my tiny bedroom here at my parents’ house. I can’t wait for the day I actually move out and have a real apartment of my own again.

On another note, last Saturday I went out to the bars in Wrigleyville for the very first time. I didn’t really know what to expect, but I definitely didn’t realize it would be so crazy. There were people everywhere, bars everywhere, drinks everywhere, all spilling out into streets. I didn’t drink much, so I stayed rather subdued for much of the night — which I guess must have translated into everyone thinking I was an uptight bitch. Forreals! Twice a person used the word “uptight” to describe me, and countless others were asking me if I was having fun or not. And for the most part, yeah, I was having fun. But people were calling me uptight! And asking me if I even enjoyed going out period! (OK, that’s a lie but I’m sure that’s what was on their minds.) To be clear, I was out with a small group of friends, only one of whom actually knows me very personally. The rest of the people I socialized with were complete strangers and distant acquaintances. Plus, I was sober. So, no I wasn’t my usual life-of-the-party self last Saturday. Why don’t guys just realize that when a girl is acting “uptight” and “uninterested,” it’s because they’re not interested at all?!

Rolling with the big boys now

I’ve spent a majority of the day today trying desperately to reorganize my room. I just simply have way too much stuff. And unlike previous summers, where I was planning on only living at home for a couple months, I need to find room for it all on a more permanent basis. But alas, this entire house is a mess and filled to the brim with junk. I need a desk, I need workspace, I need room for storage. As to how I’m going to find that here at home, I don’t know. And considering my current lack of employment and poor financial state, the option “move out” isn’t quite available yet.

I have way too many books
There’s a problem…I have way too many books

Last Friday I finally managed to be social and went out with friends. Derrick Rose was due to make an appearance at a nightclub in Chicago, so we scrounged up the money and went. It was crowded and packed, and I only saw very few glimpses of the boy and other NBA players (mostly through my camera) but nevertheless it was a fun time. I will say, though, that it had been a long time since I’d felt so…young. You see, by the end of my senior year in college, I had taken over my college town. I regularly cut lines at the bars, knew the bouncers, befriended managers, got cheap drinks, knew people already out partying. Things were comfortable, and my ego was at an all-time high. Even in Costa Rica, I had managed to paint the country red multiple times and befriended numerous people. But at the club on Friday, I felt like a little girl playing dress up. The DJ was doing shout-outs, saying things like, “Where all the single ladies at? Where all the college educated ladies at? Where all the ladies with no babies?” I cheered excitedly, of course, but then my friends and I just had to grin sheepishly when he started saying things like, “Raise your hands if you employed! Raise your hands if you just got paid! Raise your hands if you’re over 24! Raise your hands if you got more than $100 in your pocket!” I don’t do designers, I don’t roll around with $100 bills in my pocket. Guess we’re just not there yet.

Derrick freaking Rose
Derrick freaking Rose

Friday night also marked my first time in the city as a college graduate (lame milestone, I know). One man actually swooped in and put his arms around my waist by the end of the night. I was so confused at first, it took me a while to realize that he was shamelessly hitting on me. I was so taken aback when he kept asking “What do I need to do to take you out to lunch or something?” I mean, in college, guys are all, “What’s yo’ number? Let’s hang.” This dude had two phones on him (“One for work”) and was begging to have dinner with me. And when he found out I was only 21, he looked slightly apprehensive but pressed on nevertheless. I never responded to his text yesterday though.

Then Sunday I went to the Gay Pride Parade in Chicago. It was a day full of merriment, dancing and drinking. At one point we were chilling in a Jewel Osco parking lot with our booze when a female employee approached me. At first I thought she was about to tell us off but instead she hands me a piece of paper. Since I was at Pride, I instinctively thought it’d be her number or something (definitely would not have been the first time a lesbian’s given me digits). Then I opened the piece of paper and it was a message from some guy: “You’re stunning. Contact me? Steve.” Apparently though, Steve was a creepo in glasses, who didn’t even leave me a phone number but an AOL email address instead.

There surely has to be better prospects somewhere in this state!

Hasta luego, Champaign…

Today’s my last day in Champaign. The next time I come here, it’ll be just for a visit and not for another semester. The feeling’s so surreal, and at the same time…not.

Yesterday two tornadoes blew through town. The sirens rang at around 7pm, the television was bleeping, and heavy rains and winds were beating down upon our little apartment. I even stupidly went outside to look at the skies, which sure enough were rotating and looked an eerie green. Scariest 20 minutes of my life. Luckily the tornadoes were somewhere far off campus. Great way to send me off, college.

It’s the fourth time in the past year that I’m packing up all my belongings and heading elsewhere. And this time, I’ll be going back home to the suburbs, where I haven’t “lived” since 2009. I have no friends left, no job. No car either. What I will be doing come June 18 (the day my family and I come back from the Philippines) is beyond me.

This good-bye is a little less epic and exciting than my last few days in Champaign last summer before studying abroad. There seems to be a scant amount of people still on campus this week and last night I merely downed my drinks sorrowfully than the usual socializing with a good crowd. There’s so many things I never got to do, like explore the main stacks at the library or get a salad from Za’s one more time (doesn’t help that it burnt down over spring break!). There’s so many final good-byes I never got to make.

Last night when my roommate and I returned home from the bars, I ended up a crying blubbering mess. I hate that my memories of college will be tainted because of a dumb boy and I hate that this dumb boy is still haunting me even though he doesn’t know it and probably doesn’t care.

And again, I’ll have to explain all this sometime soon…


After about over a week of hibernation, my beloved laptop and I have been reunited! Last Thursday, my power adapter fritzed and stopped working. Since my battery barely lasts an hour as it is, my laptop has been unfortunately out of commission for days, which seems like an eternity when you’re living in this day and age. I’d been living Internet-wise out of my iPod, which doesn’t help much when you have things to do like apply for jobs and do freelance writing.

In the meantime, since I last blogged the following has happened:

  • I finished my undergraduate career. Senior year. Graduated from college. No biggie.

  • Went out and partied a little too hard…heh.
  • Found out my host mom from Costa Rica is visiting the United States! I’ll be seeing her sometime late next week, yahoo!!
  • Officially de-friended and blocked Boy O from Facebook. I’d already deleted him off my cell phone weeks ago. This will have to be further explained in a later entry.
  • Found out I will be going to the Philippines on June 1 with my family!! Will be there for a little over two weeks, visiting extended family and doing touristy stuff. I’ve only ever been there once, when I was four, so this trip should be uber fun.
  • My cut finger is slowly healing and no longer gushing blood. There was a scary incident last week when, a morning after I had drunk a little too much while celebrating the end of finals, it started bleeding thinly again but since then I’ve managed to not repeat it. So hopefully by the time I return to tropical paradise, I can splash around in the ocean without worrying about infected fingers!

Man, forreals, fuck that Glee ish

I take back what I said yesterday, for I had a nervous breakdown today. I literally started crying after my last class, tearing up as I walked home.

I attribute it to the fact that I came home from work at 12:30 last night and had to wake up at 8 a.m. this morning. Also to the fact that I just found out I have an 8-page paper due on Reading Day. Reading Day, seriously, what the fuck? And also maybe because I’m on my period.

My roommate is currently hogging the TV right now to watch that Glee show. Again I ask, how can a dumb show like that take precedence over Game 5 of a very important playoff series? I like to think I’m a person who keeps a very open mind, but one thing I will never ever understand is why people don’t like NBA basketball. Or the Chicago Bulls. It’s silly, I know, but that is just the one part of me that will never shake. I’ve always said I can’t marry a guy who does not like the NBA, or basketball at the very least. I really, truly can’t…unless you’re from another country where another sport takes precedent (which is what happened to me a lot in Costa Rica, LOLz). Anywho, my roommate made a comment on how the one playoff game she really cared about doesn’t start until later…arghh! I need to find girl friends who like basketball. Forreals.