Hello again

It feels like years since I’ve last blogged. But it hasn’t, it’s only been about 4 months.

What has happened since then, you ask?

  • I moved to a new house. Or rather, my parents moved to a new house and I followed. It’s in the same town, so nothing too drastic. Except now instead of the awesome dark teal room I’d enjoyed the past 6 years, I got stuck with a very vibrant pink room. Safe to say it does not match my tomboy personality. But I’ve grown accustomed to it (and as you can see from my newest theme, the pink has gradually made its way onto this blog).
  • I went to the Kentucky Derby for the very first time. Didn’t bet a dime, got all my clothes soaking wet in the monsoon rain, and happily watched as everyone around me in the infamous infield got supremely wasted and passed out in the mud. I also got pretty inebriated myself, but thankfully I did not pass out in the mud. Fun times.
  • We also went to the Mammoth Cave National Park the day after the Derby. And ziplined!
  • I quit my part-time retail gig. It was a pretty momentous occasion. Now I’m working only 40 hours a week at an office job like a normal person. The free time has graciously allowed me to return to this blog.
  • I got rejected for a promotion at my full-time job. But then at my performance review shortly after, I got a raise. So in the end everything was alright.
  • I introduced my boyfriend to the parents. While it sounds momentous in name, in actuality it really wasn’t. My dad briefly chatted with him outside while he (my dad) was grilling, but we all went our separate ways as the boy and I went to the 4th of July festival and my parents headed to the casino (where else would middle-aged Asian parents go on such a holiday?).

And that is what’s been happening in a nutshell. There is actually way more I should add to the list, but alas it is near my bedtime so I gotta wrap it up. I’ll conclude by gleefully noting that I am heading to New York City on Thursday for a weekend reunion with college friends. IT’S GOING TO BE FUN.

What’s in a name?

It’s seriously amazing how much one can get done during the weekend when one does not go out. I stayed in last night, didn’t work or anything. Read my book (currently Burning Bright by Tracy Chevalier, writer of Girl With a Pearl Earring), did my 10 sit-ups, and went to bed at a respectable time of 11:17 p.m. Woke up today without the assistance of an alarm clock at 8:30 a.m., and promptly started my day. Put away my laundry (that I had done four days ago) and tidied up my room. I was supposed to go rock climbing with some girls from school, but alas it was not to be. So instead I convinced my brother to go bike riding with me around the neighborhood. We had to walk our bikes to the gas station to fill the tires up, then went on our way.

That was when I discovered I am so out of shape. I was out of breath in minutes and could barely get up the hill when we found the trail through the forest preserve by our house. Looks like I’m going to have to ease into this new “must-get-into-shape” routine I’ve adopted much more slowly.

In other news, other than watching the Olympics day after day, I’m trying to figure out plans for this domain. As it is, this blog is the domain. But now that I’m a fledgling careerwoman and writer, I would kind of like to create some sort of portal for myself and dissociate my real name from this blog. As it is, if you Google my full name this domain is the first thing that pops up. It’s kind of unnerving. (In fact, if you’re reading this after Googling my full name to see who the heck this person is…well, there you go!)

When I first started blogging on the Internet 10+ years ago, I was just a kid. I knew not to use my real name, of course, so I just started calling myself Raisy all around, on message boards and whatnot. When I got to high school, I wanted to be more “authentic” (truthfully I’m not quite sure what I mean by that) and started using my real name, sometimes even putting my full name on websites. When I bought this domain after my sophomore year of college, I put my full name everywhere in a bid to sort of establish myself as, you know, a personal blogger. But now that I’m more than a year out of college, I’m coming into contact with way more professionals that I ever thought. My real full name is now not just the name of a kid tinkering around with websites and HTML, but that of a real working person. I’m having to put more thought into how I want to really establish myself to the world. Years ago I was just a Final Fantasy and Charmed fanatic. Now, I have so much more weight carried on my shoulders.

Only thing I’ve managed to do today domain-wise is finally add a title header to this design. For a while I didn’t have the name of the blog up there, and I wanted it to stay that way, but then I changed my mind. And instead of updating the background image I just went with a regular text header. Other than that I can’t quite decide what to do with my online presence at the moment. I love this personal blog—it has sincerely become my baby over the past 3 years. But I’m starting to understand that I really need some sort of splash page to represent myself professionally. But should I buy a separate domain for that? This domain name is already too intricately tied to my real full name. Should I do some radical transformation of bumplum.com and relegate this blog to a subfolder? Whaaaaat do I dooooo???

I’m having difficulties

I’m seriously starting to believe I have some sort of anger issue(s). Issues that may require medication so that they don’t keep manifesting in these annoying bouts of ill health. Last Thursday I was having anxiety attacks and chest pains at work, and when I mentioned this to my parents they promptly flipped out and nearly dragged me to the ER. The next day, Friday—which was supposed to be the first day of my glorious 4-day Memorial Weekend staycation—my parents made me go to the doctor’s office, causing me to cancel all my exciting plans for the day (mainly, the beach!). We don’t know what’s wrong with me yet, or even if there is anything wrong with me (I’m really just convinced it’s all psychological), but my parents won’t rest until they’re certain. As for me…well I’m doing the best I can not to consume copious amounts of beer right now, because my mother is convinced my “alcoholic drinking” is the main cause for my health woes. (I swear I’m not an alcoholic. In fact I think I drink a perfectly normal amount for a 22-year-old who likes to party when she gets the chance.)

And what are the reasons for my incredibly foul, angry mood? There’s been some rather unsavory drama happening in my life. Long story short, I felt betrayed by a friend’s shady behavior, and what was once a schoolgirl crush has now quickly disappeared into thin air thanks to said shady behavior. Ugh, just thinking about the whole ordeal is making my blood boil again.

In other news, there’s a new theme up. Literally took me about three hours, probably the fastest I’ve ever whipped a layout into shape for this blog. But I really was just getting sick of the old one, and I’m determined to get the ball rolling again on this blogging thing. How I’m going to do that, I haven’t determined yet.

The thing is, times have changed. When I first blogged on the Internet, I was probably around 12 or 13 years old. No one knew who I was. I was just a kid writing random journal entries for strangers to see, first by hand, then with software like Graymatter, b2, yada yada (anyone remember those days?). I was always just a student ranting and raving about teenage life. If you go to my personal website, you’ll find content there that was written five, six years ago. Now I’m in my twenties and no longer a student. Social media has made it impossible to keep online and real-life identities separate. Many people in real life know I have a blog. And with my job, I understand now why it’s so important to keep the toes on the line when divulging personal details online. And it’s just irritating, because the Internet was supposed to be this vast place where I could carve out my own little corner and write about annoying troubles live was giving me.

OK, I’m not really sure where that rant was going. But blogging doesn’t seem to be as much fun as it used to. I haven’t decided whether to create an entirely new blog (along with a more carefully hidden online identity), but I don’t want to let go of this domain just yet. We’ll see.

We’ll see where this damn life takes me!

It gets harder and harder

…to update this blog! Seriously!

Costa Rica was amazing. It was like I never left, but at the same time so much had changed in the 1.5 years since I studied abroad there. So much happened (like semi-jumping off a waterfall!) that I will have to discuss later (as I still have to do about my previous experiences there, heh!), but I definitely would like to see myself moving there again in the near future.

Unofficial, as usual, was a blast. I’m starting to lose the thirst for college life, though. It’s taken nearly a year, but I’m starting to feel like post-college life ain’t too bad. Champaign-Urbana will always have a place in my heart, but there’s a whole world out there too.

Sadly I’ve made the decision to NOT go see J. Cole. Mostly because A) my friend is being so flaky, and B) I need to save my money for Miami! That’s right, I just booked my flight to South Beach for Cinco de Mayo weekend with some girlfriends. I am extremely excited about this. I was in Miami for both my layovers during the Costa Rica trip, and just BEING in that airport made me all tingly. So many sexy Latino men wandering about! Weekend getaway in Miami? Checking that off my list for the year. 🙂

Other than all that, life is peachy. I have an actual job (well, I’m still working my part-time job too, but I’ve gotten so used to working 50+ hours a week I can’t imagine doing any less), my family’s doing dandy, I’ve been staying in touch steadily with college friends, and I’ve got travel plans. What more can a girl ask for?!

This article accurately sums up how I feel right now.

Trying to get back into the swing of things

Have you ever been faced with such a huge, daunting list of things to do? And not just simple errands like “Drop book off at library,” or reminders like “Student loan payment due.” Sometimes I think I just love making lists. And they keep growing and growing, and I end up sitting on the floor of my room, staring at this computer screen wondering where the eff to start. “Organize closet” or “Set things aside for recycling” or “Clean out second shelf under stereo”? Doesn’t help that I literally don’t have time to do any of the stuff I have to do or want to do. “Finish watching BBC Pride and Prejudice” or “Watch brand new The King’s Speech DVD”? (I’m in a major Colin Firth mood right now, heh) “Clean loft” or “Shop for cheap desk”?

My desire for all things blogging appears to have waned in the past couple of months. I haven’t kept up with my reader, nor have I managed to write anything substantial in this WordPress box. I want to say that I blame it on my two time-sucking jobs—working 60 hours is exhausting. That, and I realize my online persona may very well have an effect on my real life persona someday, since reality and the Internet world appears to have finally meshed at last. So I gotta watch what I say…for now.

Have I mentioned my growing dislike for our society’s growing, disgusting dependence on technology? I had to upgrade my phone for the first time in years, and at the insistence of my mother I paid $100+ for a smartphone. I regret it. In fact, I was so angry at myself one day for getting the damn thing that I started tearing up at work because purchasing it was going against every principle I had about this stupid obsession with smartphones. I half want to chuck it in the trash and half don’t know what to do with it. I don’t use data. All I freaking do with my cell phones is call, text and occasionally take pictures.

OK, I’m getting angry thinking about it again. Should try and continue trying to be productive with my life…