Ugh.

Well, not completely ugh. It’s nice to be able to sleep in my comfy bed again, watch TV whenever I want, and have my entire wardrobe available to me again.

But needless to say, I’m already missing Costa Rica dearly.

It’s the weirdest feeling. I don’t want to hate being home, but at the same time I’m hating being away from Costa Rica. I went to several places today, including the DMV, Meijer, the mall, and Wal-Mart; each time, it was like I almost forgot how to communicate in English. I kept having to remind myself not to say things like “Buenas” (Greetings/Hello) or “Con permiso” (Excuse me) or “Gracias” (Thank you [in case you didn't know that ]). Every time I’d hear people speak in Spanish around me, I’d get slightly excited and would strain my ears to listen. I’ve been listening to my “puravida” playlist nonstop and looking longingly at the supplies of Cacique, Flor de Caña and Imperial I have laying on my bed. Memories of the past 4 months keep flooding back to me.

Is this what they mean by reverse culture shock?

In other news, like I’d previously mentioned, I went to the DMV today to finally renew my driver’s license. The guy gave me a hard time at first, because my license had expired long time ago while I was in Costa Rica. But I finally got my horizontal, 21+ ID. And then after I went and bought alcohol at Meijer. It was only a 6-pack of Woodchucks, but buying alcohol legally for the first time in the U.S. was definitely quite exhilarating.

What a last-week-in-Costa-Rica it’s been.

Tuesday night I got into a verbal altercation with another member of my group. I don’t care if people think if I’m being bitchy or whiny about something trivial (like a certain bar tab), but if I dislike someone that intensely I ain’t holdin’ back and will let my mouth, drunk or sober, run its profanity-filled course. It was so satisfying, and I will not hesitate again to get into this person’s face again should the occasion arise.

Another story. On Wednesday night, while I was walking home from the bus stop sometime after 10 p.m., a car stopped at at the 3-way intersection I was approaching. A man got out of the driver’s side, which I didn’t really register…until I noticed he was not wearing a shirt. I kept walking anyways, then noticed that the man was completely naked. Saw the dude, who must’ve been trippin’ on something, in all his glory. Oh, Costa Rica.

Later that night, I was sitting on my bed tapping away at this laptop per usual. Sometime after 11, the doorbell rang. I froze, being unable to think of a reason why someone would be calling at our door so late (my family typically goes to sleep before 10) (and for a split second, I thought it was the naked man from earlier). A few minutes later, someone begins knocking on my window. First of all, my bed is up against the window. I’m literally sitting about a foot away from it. I could’ve sworn my heart stopped beating for the 5 minutes that this person was banging on my window. I didn’t answer the person for so long, even though I assumed he could probably see me through my curtains. It ended up being my older host brother, who smirked at me and was all like, “Why were you scared?”

Thursday night was a night of epic proportions. It was Ladies Night (they REALLY need to start implementing these in the United States) at La Birreria, and my girl friends and I happened across a great variety of men there, including some from my past 4 months here (eeks!). There were even male go-go dancers there, which I thoroughly enjoyed. They were the last thing I remembered before blacking out and throwing up all over the floor. How I managed to not get thrown out is beyond me. To make things even more insane, after puking I ended up dancing atop a bar with a bartender, while another bartender continued to pour tequila straight from the bottle down my throat. And the partying didn’t stop there — after Birreria closed at 3 a.m., we hopped a taxi to Miraflores and met up with several local friends. By the time we finally hailed a taxi home, the sun was already up. When I finally got home, my host mother was wide awake and on her way to her morning walk. A “Buenos dias!” later, I finally hit the sack at 6 a.m. From 9 p.m. to 6 a.m. Definitely don’t think I have it in me to do that again LOL.

ETA: AND DID I MENTION? I’M GOING HOME TOMORROW!!! AHHHHHHHH……

So I found this nifty WordPress plugin that makes snow fall on your page. I’m so fascinated by it, and with the fuzzy Chicago skyline in the background of my layout, it makes for a pretty rad, homesick kind of image! ‘Cause, yanno, it’s already December 13 and I have yet to see snow (or temperatures below 50-60 degrees Fahrenheit, for that matter).

Snow? What snow?

I’m currently trying to sort out my life for the next few months, which is primarily consisting of deciding whether or not to drop my Global Studies minor. I only have one English class and one Gen Ed left to take (neither of which I’m worried about), and three left for my GS minor. And, well, I only have one semester left. For my GS minor, I have a plan of study I’m supposed to follow. Now, the problem is that one of the classes in that plan is not being offered next spring. I tried going through the catalog to find a suitable substitute, and while I did find several, either they’re not interesting enough for me, or there are time conflicts. Another problem is that one of the other classes I need to take is currently full and closed for registration. I know that if I really really really tried, I could fix it all up and graduate with my GS minor with no problems. But…I’m all the way here in Costa Rica, I’m a senior and at this point I don’t feel like going through the hassle. Either I put some serious effort into securing my minor and return to a 16-hour grueling class schedule for next semester, or I drop the whole thing altogether (though I’m definitely still interested in taking one of the classes just for fun) and take it relatively easy for my last semester of undergrad (EEKS!!).

Decisions, decisions.

Speaking of which, I leave Costa Rica in 6 days. Holy freaking shit.

I love my parents. I really do. But sometimes…it’s hard. I don’t know if it’s the immigrant thing or the complete technologically illiterate thing or the really-really-bad at money thing. A lot of people credit their upbringing and values and such to the hard work of their parents, but I can’t say I’m one of those people.

I value my parents for putting a roof over my head and for appreciating my accomplishments. And for little things like teaching me how to do laundry or drive. But I never want to become like my parents. They never really taught me things I’m passionate about like racial equality or sympathy for those less fortunate (both economically, mentally, socially, etc.) than me. They never saved money up for college for me, which I blame now for my current woes. My parents certainly didn’t teach me the value of money, something I observed throughout my years of growing up as their debts mounted and mounted. And now their habits are affecting me; for example, I have only 2 credit cards to my name, one of which my mother claims responsibility for. But when she doesn’t make the payments on time (because she doesn’t know how to do online payments so she sends checks in through snail mail), it makes ME look bad because the credit is under my name and thus my credit rating lowers. It fucks me over. I don’t want to inherit my parents’ fucked-up money ways and terrible credit scores but it seems like it’s already too late for me.

Communication with my parents is also quite the roadblock. And I don’t think I’ve ever admitted that before, to anyone else nor to even myself. Their first language is Tagalog; mine is English. Their English is sufficient enough to get them by in this country; my Tagalog is pitiful. I’m an English major, so I like to say that I have a pretty damn good grasp of the language. And when my parents’ English and my own English don’t mesh, it annoys me. To the point where I’m bitchy and hostile to them because they can’t understand what I’m trying to say.

And I don’t know what’s in store for me in the future anymore. I’m supposed to graduate in May, but I’m not still not registered for classes nor have I applied for graduation. I checked the schedules today for the very first time, and the two absolutely core classes I need to take (one last English class and one last Gen Ed) are still open. But none of the classes I need to take for my Global Studies minor are available (plus the offerings for next semester aren’t even that great). So while I can still graduate on time with every requirement fulfilled for my English major and Spanish minor and Gen Eds, I may have to forgo that second minor. Which I don’t want to do. Because I love the minor and all the classes I’ve had to take so far for it. Because having “Global Studies” on my resume will make the “English, Spanish” part more interesting. Because I would very much like to work in an international/global capacity in the future and I think fulfilling a substantial amount of coursework in that field will be useful and make me look better (because in all honesty, I have nothing else about me to sell).

Don’t even ask me what my plans are after May.

And at the end of the day, I know that 90% of my current problems are my own fault. Thanks to my procrastination, the fact that I’m currently living in a foreign country, my own indifference to life after Costa Rica.

When will I ever learn?

So thanks to Best Buy and their subscription services and dumb automatic renewal shit, I am now down to my last $70 or so. And in a few days, lovely TCF will be doing their routine out-of-U.S. ATM checks and deducting another $40 from my account, which in effect means that at the moment I am very very dirt poor and will be nearly destitute in about a week. Not quite sure how I’m supposed to get through my last few weeks in Costa Rica on such meager funds. My financial situation in general has dipped from terrible to terribly preposterous to the point where I can’t even cry about it anymore, I just laugh pitifully at myself. Oh dear.

I have about three weeks left in this country. That’s three weeks left to enjoy all the following:

• open container drinking in the streets
• Cacique and Flor de Caña (hands down the greatest rum in the world)
• Musmanni, Taco Loco, La Casa de la Hamburguesa, Bulevar pizza, and all the other food joints I’ve fallen in love with here
• hearing reggaeton, salsa and merengue nonstop at all the bars/clubs/discos
• steady 80 degree weather during the day (summer’s just started here, how insane is that)
• my host mom’s FABULOUS cooking…SIGH
• going to the beach! On either coast! Clear blue waters! Black sand! White sand!
• Tico men (errrr hahaha…)

The list is endless, as you can imagine. I am not ready to leave Costa Rica. I am not ready to leave Central America. Whilst I am eager to reunite with familyfriendsandlovedonesyadayada and eat all my favorite delicious American foods again (oh, you can be SURE I have a list ready), I am not eager to leave my newfound favorite vacation destination. I am not eager to return to a life of stress and fast pace and go-go-go. In Costa Rica, we say “Pura vida” and “Tranquilo.” Basically, chill. Do I really have to leave all that?

So I’ve been meaning to document all my weekend trips and such on this blog, but as you can clearly see that has not happened. The last week in particular was particularly near-epic. My gringo friends and I trekked to Monteverde, a tourist nature/adventure-type town up in the mountains, first. After a day of exploring treetops and walking on some scary-ass suspension bridges, we resumed our drinking habits at night. Our next stop afterward was La Fortuna, another tourist town north of Monteverde and located right by Arenal Lake (it’s so strange to be saying that in English) and the Arenal volcano. There we frolicked, quite literally, in some waterfalls. It was glorious. The Thanksgiving break ended at the beach at Samara, yet another tourist town on the Pacific coast. I think I might have sunburned my right eyelid.

Alas, if only I had my dumbass camera with me to document it all. Further documentation of the past 3 months will have to continue at another time.