Lists are fucking everywhere these days. Buzzfeed, Huffington Post, everywhere. They’re getting quite annoying. And headlines these days! Everything’s gotta be composed of “10 Things That Will Blow Your Mind” or something similar. I’m over it, people. Please stop posting them all over my News Feed.
Anyway, to be a complete hypocrite I’m going to compose a list of my own here. Pardon me.
- I have no money. It’s really starting to feel like it. I don’t know how this came about. I blame my family, I blame the world, I blame myself. Bills, loans, car payments, etc. Believe me when I say I’m pretty sure I’ve gotten most of my spending under control. I don’t shop anymore. I try limiting my expenditures when I go out, ever since I blew $120 in one night at American Junkie. But alas I still feel like I’m drowning.
- I’m getting quite obsessed with Iggy Azalea. I don’t know why she fascinates me so much. Maybe it’s the Australian thing. Her voice can get a little annoying, but I love the way she says “I hate you so much” on “Black Widow.”
- I’m rereading Bridget Jones’s Diary for the umpteenth time, just because. One of my co-workers teasingly joked that women only read it when they’re depressed though. Huh.
- But I’m not bored. A couple of months ago I felt like my life was in despair, empty and hollow. Now I’ve replaced it with alcohol and random shenanigans with people. Because of that, I haven’t been able to work on my list of “Life Things to Work On” (a list name I just came up with right now). Kind of feeling in despair over that, but at least I’m having fun. Over the next week I have the following: overdue reunion with my old college roommate who’s just returned from Israel, girls night out planned for in the city on Saturday, HOPEFULLY seeing J. Cole on Monday for his Dollar and a Dream 2014 tour (for ya’ll who don’t know, they’re $1 shows at an undisclosed location, first come first served…so gonna have to get with it on Monday!), actually seeing Beyoncé and Jay Z (meaning I’ve got tickets) at Soldier Field next Thursday, and then flying off to Baltimore to visit my other old college roommate. WHEW.
- Too lazy to come up with a fifth bullet point. I’m done.
It’s week 4 of 2014 and I came to the realization recently that this is the first year in a while that I do not already have vacation plans set. Last year when 2013 started I had a flight to London firmly booked and plans in motion for the Eurotrip I did last fall. In 2012, my girl friends and I were set to go to Costa Rica. In 2011, well, I was just fresh off studying abroad so I didn’t necessarily have plans per se going into the year, but I ended up going to the Philippines for half a month in the summer so that was something. But nope, this year I have nothing. (Mind you, a long time ago I set the goal of going to Brazil for the World Cup this summer. Alas, I fear I do not have the funds nor the traveling companions to do so, so I’ve unfortunately let the plan go.) Strangely enough, I feel completely fine about it. It’s kind of a relief to go into a year with nothing major planned. No trips, no weddings to stand up in, nothing. I feel I’m free to spend my money now however which way I want to (which I guess means thinking of more spontaneous trips to go on! LOL). Or, rather, I can now take the time to rein my spending in and really figure out what to do with my big-girl money, because it’s been three years since graduating college and I should probably slow down on the “I’m young wild and free” mentality. Right?
So what have I been doing with my time? For one thing, I’ve been slowly putting up grown up decor around my room to make it seem less like a 12-year-old’s (my boyfriend had been making fun of me for having a poster of the Seven Dwarfs from the Disney movie hanging on my wall). I’ve now got a couple of souvenir prints of Barcelona and Paris up, and a calendar from Paris also hanging. Funny how much in love with Paris I am now, and how much I don’t really admit it to people. Everyone knows me as the Anglophile and that London is sometimes my favorite city in the whole world (it alternates with Chicago, of course). And everyone knows that Anglophiles are not into the romantic French thing like most girls are. For most of my life London was my ideal city, not Paris. I did not like French food, pop culture, the language, the history. And then I went there and secretly fell madly, deeply in love. It just truly is a magical city! I loved London and all last year, it was exactly what I thought it would be, but man oh man Paris just felt more alive when I was there. I blame this wholeheartedly on the fact that the Seine > the Thames. That has to be it.
I’ve also been catching up on my reading. Finally started on Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and I’m loving it so far. It’s really the first book I’ve read that truly intersects the multiple facets of race and immigration. It’s not just about black people and white people. There’s black Americans and blacks from the Caribbean and the “authentic” Africans. And it’s not just about immigrants in America. I love how it offers a comparison of immigrating to America versus to the U.K. All that good stuff.
Man, I should probably stop gushing and just finish reading the book.
So much going on. I seriously can’t handle it but at the same time I am secretly loving the busyness.
I have so many projects overdue at work and it doesn’t help that in the past two weeks I kept getting interrupted by the holidays, snow, and this damn POLAR VORTEX (all of which has either caused my workplace to close for the day or let us go early). I’d like to stay late at the office to churn through them but I have my cousin’s wedding this Saturday, and it is slowly eating up all my free personal time. Friends are in town briefly for the holidays and I try to maintain appearances by showing up to get-togethers and birthday outings. Worst of all, I have finally discovered the enchanting show that is Downton Abbey, and today I had to firmly tell myself NOT to watch any more episodes (I just finished the Christmas special from the second season!).
But like I said…I think secretly I am loving all this activity. I’m quite the odd bee. Oh 2014!
I’m not really quite sure how to describe the past few months of my life. Certainly there have been a lot of ups and downs. Overwhelming whirlwinds. A roller coaster of emotions, experiences, and everything else. You get the gist. Since I last blogged, I:
In less than 24 hours, I will (hopefully, if there aren’t any pesky delays) be on a plane headed for London. All by myself.
I will venture onto the Tube and head to my hostel. All by myself.
I will wander around the city, look for food, do touristy things. All by myself.
My parents don’t really know this. I have a good friend who lives in England, but as she is a busy flight attendant I’m not sure she’d have time to come see me. So all in all, I will be by myself. I’m scared, terrified, excited, and so ready at the same time.
Some people understand and are excited for me. Some people don’t get it. Who knows.
But as is my nature, I have less than 24 hours to go until lift off. I’m barely packed, my hair is wet, and I am not as prepared as I’d like to be.
Fuck alla that. I’m going to bed!