Hasta luego, Champaign…

Today’s my last day in Champaign. The next time I come here, it’ll be just for a visit and not for another semester. The feeling’s so surreal, and at the same time…not.

Yesterday two tornadoes blew through town. The sirens rang at around 7pm, the television was bleeping, and heavy rains and winds were beating down upon our little apartment. I even stupidly went outside to look at the skies, which sure enough were rotating and looked an eerie green. Scariest 20 minutes of my life. Luckily the tornadoes were somewhere far off campus. Great way to send me off, college.

It’s the fourth time in the past year that I’m packing up all my belongings and heading elsewhere. And this time, I’ll be going back home to the suburbs, where I haven’t “lived” since 2009. I have no friends left, no job. No car either. What I will be doing come June 18 (the day my family and I come back from the Philippines) is beyond me.

This good-bye is a little less epic and exciting than my last few days in Champaign last summer before studying abroad. There seems to be a scant amount of people still on campus this week and last night I merely downed my drinks sorrowfully than the usual socializing with a good crowd. There’s so many things I never got to do, like explore the main stacks at the library or get a salad from Za’s one more time (doesn’t help that it burnt down over spring break!). There’s so many final good-byes I never got to make.

Last night when my roommate and I returned home from the bars, I ended up a crying blubbering mess. I hate that my memories of college will be tainted because of a dumb boy and I hate that this dumb boy is still haunting me even though he doesn’t know it and probably doesn’t care.

And again, I’ll have to explain all this sometime soon…


After about over a week of hibernation, my beloved laptop and I have been reunited! Last Thursday, my power adapter fritzed and stopped working. Since my battery barely lasts an hour as it is, my laptop has been unfortunately out of commission for days, which seems like an eternity when you’re living in this day and age. I’d been living Internet-wise out of my iPod, which doesn’t help much when you have things to do like apply for jobs and do freelance writing.

In the meantime, since I last blogged the following has happened:

  • I finished my undergraduate career. Senior year. Graduated from college. No biggie.

  • Went out and partied a little too hard…heh.
  • Found out my host mom from Costa Rica is visiting the United States! I’ll be seeing her sometime late next week, yahoo!!
  • Officially de-friended and blocked Boy O from Facebook. I’d already deleted him off my cell phone weeks ago. This will have to be further explained in a later entry.
  • Found out I will be going to the Philippines on June 1 with my family!! Will be there for a little over two weeks, visiting extended family and doing touristy stuff. I’ve only ever been there once, when I was four, so this trip should be uber fun.
  • My cut finger is slowly healing and no longer gushing blood. There was a scary incident last week when, a morning after I had drunk a little too much while celebrating the end of finals, it started bleeding thinly again but since then I’ve managed to not repeat it. So hopefully by the time I return to tropical paradise, I can splash around in the ocean without worrying about infected fingers!

Looking for something to look foward to

If, somehow, I manage to escape this semester with an ounce of sanity left, it will have been a miracle. Given all of the emotional, mental, financial, all-over stress life has passed down to me thus far in 2011, the fact that I am still sitting here today feeling not too bad surely must mean something. As it stands, I’m looking at 3 A’s and 2 B’s for this semester. Am I happy with this? Hell to the no. At this point it means I will be graduating college without a single semester of straight A’s, one of my primary goals going into sophomore year. It’s bad enough hearing my roommates brag about their straight A semester last semester. The one class I got a B in last semester while abroad was a class I felt didn’t deserve my A effort anyway.

Plus, I would love for a chance to brag about my own straight A semester to my roommates. In fact, I would demand a medal were I to get straight A’s this semester, in the face of all my family drama, my nonexistent bank account and cash flow, the reverse culture shock, and all the work/internship hours I’ve put in this spring.

I was very angry this afternoon to find out I received a relatively low score for a reaction paper I did last week for my political sociology class. I was angry because it was the kind of score I was receiving at the beginning of the semester, when I didn’t put in any effort, whereas last week I actually did the readings and carefully scoped out my analysis. Like what the fuck? I hate the way this TA grades, it’s so unfair and he gives no feedback on how to improve whatsoever.

Thinking about school is making me angry. Must. Stop. Thinking.

(But of course, that is going to be virtually impossible now that finals weeks is breathing down my neck. Sigh, I need a beer.)

My plans for after college graduation are rather murky at the moment. I do have one goal now that I hope I can start working toward: returning to Costa Rica. A classmate from last semester is looking to go back in September, and I am determined to accompany her. How I will do this, I do not know, considering I have less than $200 to my name right now and last semester in Costa Rica I spent at least $1500. Granted, that was over the span of four months, and in September I’d be visiting for a week. Let’s see, if I spent about $470 on my flights last year (totally a guess there), I’d say I would need about $250 for a week…I must start saving up for ideally $800 by September. This is probably totally a bad idea, since Costa Rica last year and my spring break trip to Florida this year absolutely killed my savings, but I’m gonna do it! Even if at the moment I have no real job, no real income, no real…anything.

Costa Rica! I promise I’ll be back!!


Never ever ever ever again

Last night, I made a total fool of myself. I’m not going to go into details, but the events after 2am were embarrassing enough. And so, for now, I’m going to stop with a certain habit. I’m not a dedicated smoker (of anything) by any means, as I’ve only ever done it occasionally, but today when I woke up I imagined some pretty gross things. So absolutely no more of that for awhile. I’ve got more important things to do with my time.

As a result of last night’s dumb ending, I didn’t go to bed until 5am. I’ve been operating this entire day on practically no sleep, as well as a really really bad hangover. Which means, my grand plans of doing homework and studying all day today had sadly gone to waste. I was so productive Saturday, I wrote up half my take-home midterm for history and I even started writing for Demand Studios again, since I’m strapped for cash. Today I did manage to read for class, and start on some assignments.

I wish I could find things to blog about besides my never-ending pile of schoolwork and other kinds of work. I will say this, before today’s dinner with the roommates at Red Lobster, I still had yet to spend a single $ on outside food. And actually, last night I didn’t spend anything at all on alcohol at the bars. And, and! I’ve started cutting up coupons and saving them, and in my first coupon-filled trip to County Market, I spent about $8 on bread, macaroni and cheese, salad dressing, Totino’s pizzas, and other minor items. $8! I couldn’t believe it.

Getting quite proud of myself. Last night I was THISCLOSE to getting Chipotle. My self-restraint is finally coming through for me!

Breathe, 1:26 AM

*sighs heavily*

I am a beacon of peace and serenity. Stress cannot enter me. I go with the flow. Pura vida, pura vida.

I literally had to chant all that to myself tonight at work. Tonight was a long night — late stories (like that UConn/Butler game, what a travesty!), a supplement guide to post online. Normally I aim to be done at 11:30, but unfortunately tonight I was out at 1 in the morning. When I realized it was going to be a late night, I started hyperventilating because it doesn’t help that I have to work at my internship tomorrow morning at 10, as well as do the usual schoolwork. But I breathed and thought peaceful thoughts and remembered that things won’t be so bad. My only major assignment due for this week is a paper rewrite due Thursday, so I have all day tomorrow to do it.

I’m also really really hungry right now. I’m eating leftover Kraft mac and cheese that I made earlier today for lunch…was hoping to save it for a snack tomorrow but alas my hungry stomach must be fed. Am also really tempted to whip up a quick small salad right now too. I don’t understand my appetite sometimes.

However, I am starting to understand now why the weekends are so beloved (for adults). With all this stress during the week, I am so ready now to unwind and drink up a storm this weekend!