Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.” — Nelson Mandela

Amazing. I’ve finally figured out what’s wrong with me.

Funnily enough, I came across that quote while reading through the “Welcome Back” guide the study abroad office sent me. And I guess you could say it’s about time I accepted that I’ve definitely changed in so many ways since my time abroad in Costa Rica. And it’s also about time I’ve accepted the fact that that chapter of my life is over and it’s time to move on.

Bye bye! 🙁

Before, I was dead set on spending the rest of my life in Chicago. After graduation, I would find a job in the city and live in a swanky apartment with either my cousin or other friends. Now, I’m not so sure anymore where “home” will be in the future. I liked my simpler life in Costa Rica. I could care less about finding that perfect 9-5 job downtown now. Obviously, nothing about Chicago has changed (much) — it’s my own demeanor that has.

People are always telling you to live it up while you can and to enjoy the moment, but why is it people never talk about what happens after the “moment”? I lived my summer to the fullest last year and I only ended up being depressed when it ended and I had to pack up for Costa Rica. Then in Costa Rica I had the time of my life and now it’s over and I’m depressed — again. I know I made promises to make my last and only senior year semester the best ever, but do I really want to do that now? Can I really make it through a third straight adrenaline rush of life and then only end up feeling deflated again when it’s over? I’m ready for college to end so I can start finding some semblance of stability in my life. I need to start that process of letting college go now before it gets any worse.

On a less somber note, I’ve started working on a scrapbook for my semester abroad. Sort of. I uploaded 240 pictures to my Wal-Mart photo account and I’m waiting for a friend to send more to me. But seriously…240 pictures. With shipping and handling, that’s about $32. And then on top of that I’m gonna have to buy a book to put it all in and then supplies and fun stuff to make it with! I’ve already filtered through my uploads 2 times to cut down the amount; looks like I’m going to have to do it a few more times!

Even further proof that I’m trying my darndest to move on is the ambitious plans I’m making for this domain. After over a year of this city skyline, I want to make a new one. Considering I haven’t done any real HTML since I made this layout then (heh), I’m a bit nervous about the time I’m going to have to invest for this. And I want to get the ball rolling on my sports blog. I tried starting one last summer, but then I kind of left it alone for awhile. I’ve been mainly debating about whether to design a theme for it or to just use a premade (which I really dislike doing…I like all my sites to be my own designs), so we’ll see.

2 thoughts on “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”

  1. Yeah, there is always a let down when you get back from something amazing and have to get used to a different lifestyle all over. But it can also be invigorating. Those ups and downs are what make life great!

    This might seem totally irrelevant, but there’s been a billion studies on overall happiness and stability in life (mostly, for whatever reason, trying to figure out if having kids causes happiness or not.) And the one chart I saw (I tried to find it again but there’s too many studies on it) had high levels in childhood, decline in adolescence, rise through twenties, decline once kids are born, which only turns upward again after the kids move out of the house. And everyone was all “oh no, kids cause unhappiness!” But then they overlayed that chart with a more localized chart of day-to-day happiness, which showed these huge rises and dips throughout this kid-raising period (and adolescent, obviously.) Because the overall trend might seem negative, but it’s an average of these huge highs and lows, not general malaise and ennui. It’s an exciting period in life! And would you really want to miss out on a huge high just because it’s coupled with a very low low? I, personally, wouldn’t…

    My point, I believe, is that you should live it up!

  2. I can kind of understand how you feel when you finally have something great, only to have to start all over again. I’ve moved around every 4-5 years, and though I hated restarting the process, it’s a big part of what shaped me into the person I am today.

    I only scrapbooked once, but I really enjoyed it. But it is very troublesome, with the buying of supplies and whatnot. Good luck with yours and your redesign!

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