Soy una mujer al borde de un ataque de nervios

So I don’t know why it is I still feel bitter and angry about my life. I don’t know if it’s all the medicine and pills I’ve been taking, the culture shock of having been transplanted to a foreign country or god knows what else. But I’ve just been so damn irritable, no matter how hard I’m trying to live the life of “pura vida.” I find myself needing to get out of the house so that I’m not trapped in my room with these destructive thoughts. I’m so emotionally exhausted, I end up napping and sleeping for hours on end just to try and purge it all.

I hate this. I haven’t felt this moody since high school. The first couple years of college were absolutely blissful, the third felt rather strained, and now I’m just completely tired of everything and everyone. I’ve become practically misanthropic with all the people from my life back home. Selfish and close-minded. I’m in need of company but at the same time I don’t want it because I know it won’t suffice. What can you do when you’re trying to let all the bad energy go but a part of you just won’t let you?

We saw Mujeres al borde de un ataque de nervios in film class today. Though the movie was about something completely different, I quite like the title of it. It feels appropriate today.