It’s already August, WTF?

So I have less than a month here in the United States before I jet off to Costa Rica for a good four months. My feelings? Very mixed. A veritable melting pot of emotions, one swirling after the other and wisps of it emanating from time to time. Alright, enough with the wordiness, but one thing’s for sure.

I’m just not (entirely) ready yet.

Naturally, I’m not too surprised at this conclusion. I’ve never been ready to do anything no matter how excited I may have gotten for it in the past, save for that glorious day when I finally left for college three years ago (three years? How?!). I’m never ready to leave Champaign when the school year ends, I’m never ready to leave Bartlett when the school year (or semester) is about to start up again, I’m never ready for anything.

Sometimes I question my decision to stay in Champaign this summer. I don’t regret it at all, but I do think about how things may have played out if I hadn’t stayed here and just went back to the suburbs. I’ve actually never been more than ready to leave Champaign (I’m in need of the hustle and bustle that is Chicagoland), but the idea that I won’t actually be coming back for the fall semester is a little jarring. I know I’ve always said that I’m meant to study abroad, I need to get out of this country, I need something to jolt my life back into that feeling of excitement and awe of the future…but I never expected to get so comfortable with the people I managed to surround myself with this summer.

But I guess before I can even think about saying good-bye, I should get some work done. And by some work I met a shitload of work.