Why is love so hard to find

I used to think that I wasn’t very hopelessly romantic. I don’t like cheesy pick up lines, I don’t get turned on by the idea of being serenaded by some sensitive John Mayer-wannabe. I’m so stubborn about being an independent woman, there’s no point in holding doors for me because I would just open my own. I like doing things for myself. I like that I can live on my own without having to deal with a significant other.

But I think I’m wrong.

I believe a large part of why I thought I was just so not into romance was because nobody’s ever effing tried. I was never the girl in high school who got flowers, cards, or any special gifts on a regular basis. In my entire life, I was only asked to a high school dance once. And I turned him down because I really didn’t like him in that way. I went to my senior prom alone because nobody asked me. I’ve never been in a serious relationship, and I don’t think I even remember the last time I kissed a guy sober.

It’s not like I’m completely clueless when it comes to the opposite sex. I know plenty that have expressed interest in me, and I can flirt up a storm when I want to. But what seems to stand out the most is that nobody has ever shown any indication that they could actually care about me in any deeper way. And it kind of makes me feel pathetic.

I’m sick of being treated as a one night stand. I want something real. Is that so hard to ask?