I hate playing these LoveGames

Remember those days in middle school, high school? You see a cute boy (or girl), you try your best to get them to notice you, you do everything you can to make Cupid strike that arrow of his? Because, you know, you like that person, and when you like someone, the natural due course is for you two to get together and eventually have fun making babies.

In high school, I remember the times when I’d try to rearrange my routes and walking patterns so that I’d pass by a certain boy in the hallway. I’d live for those moments. He would smile at me, or wave, or do that nodding-of-the-head thing. There would even be times when I’d go to my locker when I didn’t need to, just so I can have a few moments of conversation with that boy just because he happened to be passing by at the time. With another boy, I also carefully planned the timing of everything: when I’d get into the lunch lines, when I would walk up a stairwell, and other silly little things like that. Just thinking back to those days makes me want to laugh at my naivety. I’d certainly learned a lot of things about boys since then.

But the thing that sucks about the most about those foolish habits? It never ends. I’m going into my third year of college, and I still find myself doing little tricks just to get a chance to talk to some cute boy I’m crushing on. It’s almost pathetic. And I feel like it’s just going to get worse, now that I’m older. I go out to the bars at school, meet a cute boy, go out to the bars again and see him there again. The cycle continues. Only this time, you’ve got stupid things like alcohol and Facebook thrown into the mix, this LoveGame (thank you, Lady Gaga) that we play. And now I plan out my outfits, makeup, the nights I decide to go out, etc. — just to see that cute boy again. It’s ridiculous!

And now this recent little pickle I’ve found myself in. I am doing the same effing thing all over again. I dress up, I wonder if I’m going to see him today or not, I wonder if I get to talk to him again. Ugh.

Why do I have to be such a girl?