I gotta feeling

For the first time in a really long time, I woke up on the right side of the bed yesterday. I don’t know how it happened. But there I was, lying in my bed wide awake, and feeling…OK for once. Not overwhelmed, weak, vulnerable, negative. I woke up and literally thought, “Hey, I’m feeling good.” I wish I could wake up like that more often. It’s such a rare phenomenon.

After lying in bed observing this, I had to go in to work at 12:30. It’s kind of alarming how used to these 10, 11-hour shifts I am. I worked from 12:30 in the afternoon ’til 11 at night, and my legs weren’t cramping up like they usually do. I didn’t even complain about having to work the bitch shift, despite the headache I had that plagued me for much of the afternoon. Perhaps I have that good morning feeling I had to thank for. Work itself actually was pretty fun; I found quite a bit of change in the theaters and saw the ending of The Hangover at least 3 times. That’s when you know you’re having a good day.

So I’ve been craving a drink for a while, and I just made myself a cranberry vodka, though the vodka I have is sour apple flavored, so it’s more like a sour apple cranberry vodka. I think? Doesn’t matter, it is tasting absolutely delicious.

I need to go out. I want to go out, get fucked up, and dance my ass off. I haven’t had a night like that since…what, April? I miss it. This is what I don’t like about being home for breaks. It’s not like Champaign, where the entire campus converges every night on one street, drinking in what seems to be all the bars’ entire stock of alcohol. Being home…I guess I kind of just miss going out and being reckless and not having to worry about my parents or throwing up in the mornings or having to explain why I’m “sick” to my younger brother.

Right now though, all I care about is keeping this good feeling. I kind of miss not being emo.