I don't wanna go to school

I have to go back to school in less than a month. And I’ll be straight up: I just don’t plain want to. I feel like I’ve become too comfortable here at home, and the thought of having to pack everything up again and resume a real life is giving me a headache. I don’t want to go to classes, buy overpriced textbooks, deal with drunken frat guys, hang out with people I’ll never see again anyways. Why do I have to? I feel so absolutely uninspired to do anything remotely progressive with my life. I kind of like this routine I seem to have become adapted to: work, watch free movies and hang out with people. What is so wrong with that kind of lifestyle?

I haven’t checked my class schedule since I’ve left school. Which is bad, because there were a few classes I wanted to take and I’m sure they’re all probably closed by now. I’m so unprepared for school, the more I put it off the more I just don’t plain do it. Everyone keeps saying that I should be looking forward to the awesome parties and the complete freedom, but I don’t feel like I need that anymore. I feel like I’ve managed to finally find some semblance of a life here at home. This double life I lead, my life at home and my life in Champaign — it’s hard.

It’s funny. A month ago, I would have said that this summer so far thus had been totally and completely ordinary. But now I feel like I’m just going with it. I don’t care anymore. About anything.

The last few weeks have been interesting. I finally managed to get out of this state! Last Saturday I went on a road trip with a few family friends to Columbus, Ohio, which turned out to be one of the most boring cities ever. Though the buildings were taller than in downtown Champaign, I swear I’ve seen more life in that little college town than in this state capital. Then afterwards my family and I drove to the Detroit area in Michigan to visit family. I’m starting to feel like I’ve been there so many times, I half-grew up in Detroit. For all the talk about it being such a dead city, it still felt like a second home to me. But going back home to Chicago definitely felt good. It’s good to be home.